A wedding timeline, from twelve months to one

A wedding is not hard to organise; it has to be organised in order. Nearly all the nerves of the final month come from decisions taken too late, not from things that are too complicated. The timeline below starts a year ahead; if you have less time, keep the order and shorten the gaps.

12–10 months: the decisions everything else hangs on

• Agree a total budget and who contributes to it. Without that figure, every quote looks either expensive or acceptable, at random.
• Draft a first guest list, with a minimum and a maximum number. The venue is chosen to fit it, not the other way round.
• Pick the date and book the venue. Saturdays from May to September go first, sometimes more than a year ahead.
• If you are having a church ceremony, speak to the church before you sign for the venue, so the times work together.

9–7 months: the people who cannot be in two places at once

The band or DJ, the photographer and the videographer work one event a day, so the good ones are booked early. This is also the time to talk with the godparents (nași) about the role they are taking on, and to ask for first quotes for flowers and decoration. For every quote, note what it includes and what it does not: hours of cover, travel, meals for the crew.

6–4 months: the details people see

• The dress and the suit, with time for fittings and alterations.
• The invitations: the wording, the number of copies (one per household, not per person) and the reply-by date.
• The menu tasting, and the option for those who do not eat everything.
• Rooms for guests from other towns and, if needed, a minibus between church, venue and hotel.

3–2 months: the confirmations

Send the invitations with a reply-by date at least three weeks before the day the venue wants the final number. File the papers for the civil ceremony within the window the town hall requires — ask early, because the file has a fixed deadline. Agree the moments of the evening with the band: the entrance, the first dance, the cake.

The last month: close things, do not open them

• Ring those who have not replied. A “not sure yet” is recorded as unknown, not as “coming”.
• Give the venue the final number and the seating plan.
• Write an hour-by-hour run sheet and give it to every supplier, with one contact phone number — someone other than the couple.
• Prepare envelopes with the balance for each supplier and decide who hands them over.

The rule that spares you most worry: no new decisions in the final week.